Friday, 23 May 2008


What's brown and makes a mess of everything?
The Prime Minister.

Gordon Brown has been very bad this year so Santa is bringing him a lump of coal. Ironically the last thing he needs is more northern rock.

The 7 dwarves are in a cave when it suddenly collapses. Snow White is worried for their lives,until she hears a voice from inside the cave saying "I think Gordon Brown is a great prime minister". She says,"thank heavens,at least Dopey's all right!"

An Old priest lay dying in hospital. For years, he had faithfully served the people of London. He motioned for his nurse to come near. "Yes, Father?" she said. "I would really like to see Tony Blair and Gordon Brown before I die," whispered the Priest. "I'll see what I can do, Father," said the nurse. The nurse sent the request to the House of Commons and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived that Tony and Gordon would be delighted to meet the priest.
As they went to the hospital, Gordon commented to Tony: "I don't know why the old priest would want to meet us, but it certainly might help our images and even get me elected for Prime Minister for another term. Tony agreed that it was a very good especially if they got press coverage. When they arrived at the hospital bed the old priest took Gordan's hand in his right hand and Tony's Hand in his left. There was a silence and the look of serenity on the priest face.
Finally Gordon spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen why choose us to be with you as you near the end?" The Old preist replied slowly: "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ." "Amen" said Gordon. "Amen" said Tony. The old priest continued: "He died between two lying, cheating, criminal bastards. I would like to do the same."

Tony Blair was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the Prime Minister if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy". So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a "tragedy". One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field & a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a 'tragedy'". "No," said Blair, "that would be an accident." A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not," explained the Prime Minister, "that's what we would call a great loss." The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Tony searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of tragedy?" Finally, at the back of the room, a small boy raised his hand...In a quiet voice he said: "If the air plane carrying you and Mrs Blair was struck by a "friendly fire" missile & blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy." "Fantastic!" exclaimed Tony Blair. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?" "Well," says the boy "it has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be a ****ing accident either!

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