Tuesday, 18 March 2008

Invitation to Tender

My spies tell me that there will be One Ladies WC for every Five Hundred prospective visitors to the Hartlepool Tall Ships Event. The Tall Ships Team are also looking at a couple of Farmer's fields for Park and Ride Schemes. If these field are out near Elwick then that could be convenient for the Ladies Loos as the ques will probably stretch that far out all the way from the Marina.

Let's also hope it dosen't rain. I've parked in a field when its been wet and needed a tractor to get me out again. Also "Park and Ride" so 1,000,000 people, let's assume half come by car (though how else will they get there? Train? Bus? Walk?). Assume 4 in a car and you have 125,000 cars to park. Let's hope they are big fields to take care of the "Park" element.

That leaves the "Ride" Assuming 100 seater coaches taking 30 minutes for a round trip. That will need 5,000 coach journeys to get everyone into town. 100 coaches will give a capacity to move 20,000 people an hour so it will need over 25 hours to get everyone in and out. To get people in and out in 4 hours will need to move 125,000 people per hour, or just over 600 coaches! That of course assumes all coaches run at full capacity!

However, don't worry about the details while there is the opportunity for The Tall Ships Empire in Hartlepool Council to continue to grow. The Tall Ships Team are now looking to appoint the favourite tool of the public sector Empire Builder .... "Consultants"

The Hartlepool Mail carried the following advertisement (under Public Notices of course not Job Vacancies)

The Tall Ships Races
Hartlepool Quays
7th - 10th August 2010
Invitation to tender to provide sponsorship services

Hartlepool is delighted to be the only UK port hosting The Tall hips Races in 2010.

Tenders are requested from experienced consultants interested in bidding to provide sponsorship services to assist the Tall Ships Team in delivering a successful event.

For further details please contact the Tall Ships Office on

tallships@hartlepool.gov.uk or (01429) 523420

Deadline for submissions is 12noon on Friday 4th April 2008
(Interviews will be held on Friday 11th April)


  1. Assuming every female "goes" every two hours then 1 toilet for 250 visits per hour means every visitor(for whatever reason) has 14.4 seconds to get in, do the business and get out again. As the saying goes - the lunatics are running the asylum.
    Unfortunately the 30% of the people who pay taxes will foot the bill.

  2. Possibly being a bit pessimistic about needing to go every two hours? But even if each female visitor only goes ONCE during the whole event it will still mean 500 Ladies visiting each toilet between say 12.00noon Friday and 6.00pm Sunday, making approximately one visit per toilet every 6 minutes for the duration of the event. Of course I can't see the toilets being in that much demand at 3.00am in the morning....lol.....so the 14 seconds in, done (wash hands?)and out might be closer to the mark at times of peak demand.